


Show Me The Strength To Be Weak

by elizabeth_darcy



Series: Reylo Adventures [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Reylo - Freeform, im a piece of reylo trash who needs to be stopped, lil bit of fighting, lil bit of mind reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6531319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizabeth_darcy/pseuds/elizabeth_darcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo had had his saber to her neck for almost a full 60 seconds now, but he still hadn't dealt the final blow.</p><p>He should. He knew he should. It'd be so simple to follow through. This fight would be over and he could actually /win/ something in his life /for once/.</p><p>But it just didn't feel like winning to him anymore...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Me The Strength To Be Weak

**Author's Note:**

> ((the title isn't mentioned in the story, it's just that Kylo thinks being good is weak))

"Just  _ do  _ it then!" Rey hissed, gritting her teeth.

Kylo had had his saber to her neck for almost a full 60 seconds now, but he hadn't dealt the final blow.

He should. He knew he should. It'd be so simple to follow through. This fight would be over and he could actually  _ win _ something in his life  _ for once. _

But it didn't feel like winning to him anymore. He had felt her, through their bond. He felt it when she laughed, when she cried. She was the only source of positivity he had in his life anymore; the only thing that his mind could drift to which wouldn't make him upset or enraged. He  _ couldn't _ kill her.

Kylo backed up two steps, turned off his blade, and threw it into the snow. He could almost hear what Snoke would say to him afterwards. What Snoke would  _ do _ .

Rey looked at him with shock and fear. Stars, he was so  _ tired _ of only seeing fear and anger in her eyes.

"What are you doing?” She asked, angrily, “Stop messing with me and do what you came here to do!"

He took an unsteady breath and nodded.  _ Okay _ .

He knelt down and kissed her.

It was the only thing he'd ever done in the last two decades that felt  _ right _ . All the pressure in his head about dark and light and what to do and what not to do and who to trust and who to believe and who to kill just...  _ shattered _ .

She suddenly pushed him away and scrambled backwards in the snow. Kylo's heart sank.

"What are you doing?" She asked, angrily. She pushed herself off from the ground and retrieved her saber from where it had been knocked out of her hand earlier. She retrieved Kylo's as well, just in case he would try to summon it with the Force to catch her off guard.

She switched hers on and turned back toward Kylo, who hadn't moved, despite the fact he was defenseless and she had just picked up her weapon. He just didn't  _ care  _ anymore.

"Whatever you're trying to do, it's not working! So  _ stop _ with the mind games!" She had her saber pointed at him.

"Is  _ that _ what you think this is?" He asked, standing up to face her in disbelief.

"What else could it be?" She cried.

"Rey," he took a step toward her, "I  _ love _ you."

"You're lying!" She swung her saber out in front of her: a warning.

He sensed her fear. Though it wasn't fear of him. It was of herself. It was of her own feelings.

He knew that she wasn't going to hurt him, just like he couldn't hurt her.

He continued advancing as she backed up, "I'll kill you if you take another step!"

She didn't. He kept moving.

She whirled her saber a few more times, "You aren't going to break me so just  _ stop _ messing with me already!" She meant it as a defiant declaration of her strength, but it ended up sounding more like a desperate plea.

He reached her, finally, and held her shoulders gently, "Look into my mind and  _ tell _ me that I'm lying." He removed all Force barriers from his brain and it felt good. He was exhausted with blocking everyone out and he was ready to be relieved of his heavy burdens.

He closed his eyes and felt her soothing presence inside his mind. She was zipping through like wildfire, angry and scared, but just having her there was a source of such blinding light that he couldn’t help but relax and revel in it. He could feel it- the light- emanating from every pore in his body.

He took in a nervous breath when she finally found the part she was looking for. He reopened his eyes, watching with anticipation for the worst. But, instead, he saw her deep concentration melting into realization. She tilted her head, curious. He worried about what that meant, what she was curious about.

When she finally left his brain, he felt like half of him had been sucked out and he dreaded it. He wanted her. Stars, he wanted to spend every single  _ moment  _ with her. Even if he was just in her  _ vicinity _ . He craved everything about her.

She was looking at him again, well in thought, and he winced, shutting his eyes and waiting for what she was about to say.

But she didn't say anything. All he heard was something hitting the snow. He reopened his eyes slowly, tentatively, and found that she had dropped her saber carelessly on the ground. He furrowed his brow at it, confused, before a pair of lips met his.

They were soft and determined, flooded with passion, but they were cold. He wanted to warm them, wanted to keep them on his forever. And,  _ stars _ , it felt like the dwarf planet they were on was exploding. He would’ve believed that it was exploding, too, if he wasn't so wrapped up in the fact that she was kissing him.  _ She _ was kissing  _ him. _ It hadn't been instigated by him and it wasn't a dream. It was just her. Her.  _ Her _ .

She put her arms around his neck. He followed her lead  _ more  _ than willingly and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She entangled her hands in his snowflake-covered hair and he wasn't sure if he would  _ ever _ let go.

Eventually, she did pull back, but only far enough to breath, "I love you, too," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

He grinned. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually smiled until he met her. He smiled so much these days, whenever he thought about her. And now she was  _ his _ . And he was  _ hers. _

She looked into his eyes with more love than Kylo thought he could  _ ever  _ deserve, much less possess.

No, not Kylo.  _ Ben _ . She’d made it clear she didn’t like Kylo, but Ben she could like. Ben she could  _ love _ . And if she wanted Ben, then he’d be Ben, no questions asked.

**Author's Note:**

> /If you’re a piece of Reylo trash, clap your hands. If you’re a piece of Reylo trash clap your hands…/  
> I’ve fallen down this hell pit and I’m dragging the rest of ya’ll with me.
> 
> Went a little overboard with the italics but you know. It’s whatever.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought!! I’m on the fence about putting up a couple of the other fics I’ve written. I have a Matt the Radar Tech kinda of fic, but it’s literally just like every other Matt fic out there except Rey doesn’t know it’s Kylo. So. Lemme know if that’s of any interest.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day!!
> 
> (Find me on tumblr at were-what-killed-the-dinosaurs.tumblr.com or at reysgaybae.tumblr.com )


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